Focus, Fokus, Konsantre.

"I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering."
Steven Wright

Though this quote doesn't describe my state of mind 100% accurately, it does simply convey my constant struggle to "be here" all of the time. I get so frustrated with myself when I can't focus on a single task without my mind wandering home. I think I get so frustrated with myself because I didn't struggle with this at all last summer during my time in Haiti. I know that circumstances are different, and I left the country on different terms than I did last year, but I still cannot rap my head around my absentmindedness.

One difference I see is not having time to just "be" with God. Living in a house with 5 other people and having tasks throughout the day doesn't leave much alone time. I find myself building up frustrations and prayers and not giving myself time to sit, be silent, and listen. I've never really had this feeling before, and it is not clear to me how important my "still time" is to me. That's how I refuel. It doesn't matter if I read, pray, sit and stare at a wall, or (my favorite) sing... the point is that I need it. I don't even think I've really had a chance to mourn the things that are happening in my world at home. My heart is heavy and I've been looking for healing in all the wrong places.

I don't write this post to say that I am miserable here, it's quite the opposite actually. I love where I'm at, who I'm working with, and who I am serving. This has been a stretching experience so far, and I really look forward to the rest of the summer. I have laughed a lot, and have loved a lot. I have learned so many new things about myself, my team, and what it is like to live in this country. I've also learned more about God's kingdom and what it will be like when it comes. God has BIG things going in this country and I am humbled by the fact that He let me be a part of this plan for the summer.

However, I do ask for prayer. I pray (and I hope you will to) that God will redirect my thoughts. I NEED to focus on what He has for me here. I pray that I will begin to trust that He will take care of my family while I'm away, and that He will bring justice to the entire situation. I pray that I will find time to just be quiet, and listen for direction from God. Lastly, I pray for opportunities here with the women of the villages we visit. I pray that they feel open with us, and feel comfortable with us. 

More Harm Than Good?

This week, my team took part in CHE training (Community Health Evangelism). CHE is a program that trains missionaries to not create dependency in the community they are working in, but instead boost development, which is sustainable even when the missionaries leave. It is apparently a very effective and well known training program in the mission community, and I am fortunate to be able to take it here in Bosnia. The first few days of training were pretty straight forward, and seemingly elementary, but I stuck with it with a good attitude and I actually gained reality that the work I had done in the past may have been harmful. Everyone likes to think that they go on short term trips and save the world. They think that by giving out food and hygiene bags, they are helping the people in need. Actually, it's basically only helping yourself, and hurting the people you are trying to help. Short term aid creates dependency. By continually entering into someones community and handing out resources, you causing the locals mindset to change and not in a good way. Their mindset changes to one that makes them wait for the materials to be given to them instead of them going out to find ways to get the resources themselves.

This made me think. What are the projects I have taken part of before and how have they hurt the communities I've worked in? Then it hit me... many of the projects I've been a part has been humanitarian aid. So, does this mean that I am so monster that destroys the people I go to serve? I don't think so. But, if I had the knowledge that I do now and continued to create dependency, then I would become a monster. All the things my teams in the past have set out to do were great things... they were just not carried out in an effective manner.

I know that God gives me grace and that He can fill in the cracks that I left in the people that I have worked with so far in my life. I am very thankful that I was able to go through this training in order to see where I have short-comings in my work and how I can fix them in the future. God desires for us to take care of the poor, weak, and vulnerable but there are many ways to love them without causing them to depend on us for all of their needs. I look forward to applying the CHE training to my future mission work.

Other than that, everything is well in Bosnia and I am loving my time here. Please pray for opportunities to fellowship with the Muslims here and pray that our time will feel 100% healthy very soon! I love you all and I am looking forward to "celebrating" my birthday tomorrow!  

Training, Heart Break, Traveling, and First Few Days….

Training was nothing less than brutal (but really). It was 6 ½ days of 15 hours of lectures, classes, language acquisition, games, mall evangelism (which I was not a fan of), and outdoor training (which I was a big fan of). To add to the stress of training, I found out that my aunt, Michelle, had been murder at her workplace and they still do not know who killed her. Needless to say, I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I still am. It’s hard to find a second to stop and just talk to God about it. I was extremely thankful that I got to spend some time with my family when they came out and took me to dinner. We just sat around the table and laughed, talked about of memories of Michelle, and talked about this amazing opportunity I have here in Eastern Europe. Please continue to pray for Danny, Carly, and Madeline because they are the ones who carry the most grief from Michelle’s death.



Traveling can be summed up in one word: Obama. President decided to fly into Chicago for a fundraising at the exact same time we were supposed to be speeding down Louisville’s runway heading toward Chicago. We were grounded… and eventually missed our connecting flight from Chicago to Munich. So, we made the most out of our 24 hour layover by getting a room and exploring Chicago a little bit. We made our flight to Munich that evening and had a (semi) smooth ride. Munich’s airport is a little scary, quiet, and well… white. But we made our final flight to our work place right on time. When we finally made it there, the missionaries we will be working with were waiting on us there!



Eastern Europe is: beautiful, green, caffeinated (I have never had this much coffee in my entire life), and welcoming. Every house that we have visited us so far has had a meal waiting for us and coffee to follow. It is amazing how hospitable these people are and how interested they are in why we are there. The thing that has been the hardest to adjust to is taking off your shoes before you go into every house because in America and every other country I’ve visited, people wear shoes into the house. It’s not that foreign of a concept, because I was never allowed to wear shoes in my house growing up but at school I never take my shoes off until I get in my bed (sometimes I don’t even then). Also, the call to prayer from the Mosque right down the hill from us has been hard to grow numb to, but I hope I don’t. I want to commit to pray for the Muslims here every time that I hear it. Other than that, the food is AMAZING, and so are our living arrangements. I love the team that I traveled here with. We laugh all of the time… seriously. This is a hard field to work in (growth wise) but I am excited to see when, how, and where God moves.

Sending love to you all and I hope all is well in America. Like I said before, please pray for Danny Mockbee and his daughters, Carly and Madeline. Their heartbreak is more than I can imagine and I pray that God will give them peace throughout these rough times.

Passion for the Deceived

Let me just begin by saying that this has been the most incredible 5 weeks of my life. I have loved as Jesus called me to, I have learned from the Haitian people and the missionaries here, and I have taught the Haitians some things too.

One of the best things about my job is working with the security and the translators. They have become some of my best friends in the world and I am blessed to have been given the chance to invest in their lives. Most of them are incredible Christ followers, but some also struggle with the strong that Voodoo has in this country. They claim that their is good Voodoo and bad Voodoo and that they are okay because they only participate in the good Voodoo. I found this out in my most recent visit to Ansoleufor. We walked up to the room where they worship a little girl's lost doll, and our security guard started praying quite passionately to the doll. Maybe he was screaming that it was evil and that it had no power, but I sensed some desperation from the man which makes me think that he actually thought this doll could solve his problems. Obviously, I think praying to anyone besides our God, the Almighty is not good. Anyway, they are all awesome and I hope and pray that the ones who are still misguided will see the light and know that Christ is the one sacrifice that we need.

Next I just wanted to apologize that I haven't been writing much. Honestly, there is not a lot of time to breathe around here, let alone blog. But here are some of the things I have been involved with since the last time I wrote:

*I stayed out in Beauchamp for 5 days with two amazing crews! The first couple days were spent working with Eastside from Milford, Ohio. They are AMAZING! They welcomed me into their team and I loved seeing their passion for doing God's work ooze out of them. My last 3 days we spent working with the Southland crew from Lexington, Kentucky. I loved their focus on prayer and how much of an encouragement they were to each other. Both teams worked at the orphanage everyday that weather permitted us to go, and they all did a wonderful job and the kiddies LOVED them so much!
 *I have taken many trips to Tortuga Island in quite a short time! I love it over there because the kids are well-behaved and they are even more chill then on the mainland (and I didn't think Caribbean time could get any relaxed). Plus, it's the pirate capital of the Caribbean....arghhh.
*Ansofleuor is my favorite day trip that we take. It is so dark their because it is the Voodoo capital of the world. Everytime we go, we hike up to the monument where a huge cross once stood. The cross was struck by lightning, broke, and then a doll "fell from the sky." Well, like I said before, they worship this doll. This is such a huge prayer opportunity. These people are blind to the truth that Jesus is the only sacrfice we need and that we should have no other God's besides the awesome one that we serve. I don't think a lot of the groups take this trip seriously enough. We get to walk inside of the temple and stare their "god" in the face and declare that God has supreme power and ask him to fill that place so that there is no room for Voodoo. But I am continually heart broken by the team's lack of passion for fighting Voodoo. We can feed all of the people we want here, but if Voodoo isn't stopped, they will die eternally. We need to start realizing that people are going to Hell everyday and that Jesus gave us the authority to go out and reach all people groups, tongues, and nations. Sorry for my preaching... I am just really passionate about praying against Voodoo, and taking groups there to open up Americans eyes to religion outside of Sunday school.

Anyway, Haiti has definitely made me more open to evangelism and praying with the people I encounter on a regular basis. I love this place.

Please pray for the deceived and that the deceiver would be cast out of this place. Please pray for my fellow interns and all of the staff as we prepare to take in another big group tomorrow. Lastly, please pray for the American's who are coming to Haiti tomorrow. Some have been here before and some are new and about to get the biggest culture shock of their lives. Pray for their hearts and that their eyes would be open to the reality of a strong enemy.

Thanks! I love you all!

They call me teacher.

So many things have happened in the past few days. We already had a full group on campus, and then 70 more high school and college age kids came on the Restore Retreat. Needless to say, living on campus with around 150 has not been easy. I have a full blown case of Haitian Sensation, and travelling to Tortuga yesterday made me quite ill. However, in the midst of the stress and pain, God has given me such joy from the Haitian people.

I help teach an English class across the street at the church on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Honestly, I think these classes have been my favorite thing about Haiti so far. I've gotten to know many of the students in my class. Some of them are doctors, nurses, teachers, and some of the them just want to learn English before they continue on to University or college. The wonderful thing about it is that they know me when I am walking through St. Louis with my groups. They call to me and wave with the biggest smiles on their face. The best part is... I am here for two more months! I can't even imagine what it will be like to walk out the gates in August. If I had to guess, it will be like home! I'm pretty sure I know more people in St. Louis now then I do my own hometown!

Another amazing part about helping with the class is that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life! Yesterday at class, a bunch of Americans came to see what was going on and to help out. The instructor told all of the Americans to stand up and introduce themselves. When it was my turn, I went to stand up but all of the Haitians told me to sit down. They said, you're Haitian (that got many giggles from me and the other Americans) and we know you already teacher. I am their teacher (kind of). I teach them Bible stories, and how to pronounce "sore throat" and a bunch of other fun things. Never would I thought that I would be welcomed in with such love and excitement! Looks like I can do this as a career after all!

Groupies!

Can I just say that I am so tired and I am concerned that I may have transformed into one of those Voodoo zombie things (because I'm pretty sure I look like it!). The reason for my exhaustion is the 75 new additions to campus in the last 36 hours! I have literally been a part in every single ministry on this campus today. I am probably the least medical person here, but they had me stocking all of the shelves in the pharmacy and the lab... I hope I put everything in the right place because if I didn't, it won't be pretty! Anyway, today has been absolutely crazy!

I got to go back to the brothel and jail today! My friend was still in the cell today. He won't be able to go to court until Friday, so I am going to try to go and visit him again before he goes. The brothel was a little intense. Not only were the group's emotions running high but I had to worry about one of the local boys, Alex, getting a little to touchy with me. Sometimes I wish that American boys hit on me 1/8 as much as Haitian boys do hahaha! But yeah, it was a pretty heavy day with the women. I hope to develop relationships with the women at the brothel this summer.

On a lighter note, I got to spend a lot of time in all three main areas of the campus: the baby orphanage, the Miriam Center, and Gran Moun! It was so nice to finally be able to spend some time at all of these places and it was a really awesome opportunity to practice some of my new Creole skills!

Bottom line: I am LOVING Haiti still and I am only two weeks into my journey! I can see that long term missions is in God's plans for my life, which is very exciting! My favorite part about being here so far is that I am starting to make friends in the community. I can go to the English classes across the street or down to the market and see all of my new friends, old and young. It is nice knowing that I have more than 2 weeks with all of these wonderful Haitians!

Prayer Requests:
*I had the privilege to lead a young man to Christ on Monday. I would just ask you to pray for him and his new walk with Christ.
*The English class that I am helping to teach every other day.
*All of the people that the teams will be working with this week!

Love ya'll!

Training Week = Craziness!

Hello everyone!

Wow! The past ten days have been absolutely amazing and intense. I started off my journey with flight delays, an overnight in JFK and my bags being sent to the wrong airport. Luckily, I was not alone on this adventure! I had my fellow intern, Marion, along for the journey and we had a ton of fun. The surprise 24 hours we spent together in airports included funny accents, him almost being kidnapped, seeing Fergie, and riding the airtrain around JFK to every terminal around 6 times. Needless to say, we became fast friends. Then we finally arrived to Ft. Lauderdale for 3 days of training before heading to Haiti, and we found ourselves bag-less. Turns out, they were sent to Miami... but they sent them to us the next day! Our 3 days in Ft. Lauderdale were amazing and fun! I love everyone on my team and we are going to have an amazing summer.

We landed in Haiti on Sunday morning and we were to the mission by lunch! We were so blessed to have such an easy travel day! This began our week of intense training that included going to every campus the mission had around the Northwest region. Monday, we hiked to the waterfall and enjoyed so nice quiet time there. Tuesday was Beauchamp and the orphanage. We were on a taptap for 6 hours that day but it didn't stop us from having a great time with the kids. I saw Guyvenson at the orphanage!!!!!!!!! And he remembered me :) Oh I love that child! I hope to see him a lot this summer. Wednesday was Tortuga Island! This was my first time there and I loved the boat ride and the children. I had a little buddy and I couldn't understand why she wouldn't answer my questions. Marion informed my that she was deaf, so that just meant that from that point on we exchanged a lot of smiles and hugs! Unfortunately, I had the "Haitian Sensation"on Thursday and did not get to go with the group to all things Port-au-Paix, but I'm sure an opportunity will arise from somewhere to go there!

Friday was Ansefoleur. I had been to this place before but it was full of sadness and fear when I had gone with my other group. We hiked up to the monument were the huge cross had stood before and we prayed while Voodoo rituals and prayers were being performed around us. Next we went to the temple and Melonnie encouraged us to approach the temple with a different attitude than the others who had lead me in before did. She told us that these people think that they are praying to the same God we are and they would be happy to have us in there. Before, we were told that they hated us and thought that we were evil. Going in with this brand new attitude changed everything for me. I was greeted with smiles and welcomes. It was nothing like what I had remembered it being. One thing had not changed... it was heartbreaking. These people think that praying to a little girl's doll will help them and Satan is running rampant here and all over Haiti. The practice of Voodoo is truly the saddest thing I have ever witnessed. It offers no hope what so ever. After we left the temple, we walked down the street to this tiny little restaurant that had the BEST food ever!

Yesterday was just one of many beach days! We went out to visit Grant and Natasha and toured La Baie's campus. Then we went on the boat over to the private and most beautiful beach I have every been to! Ivenor led us into a cave and we scared the next group when they landed! It was so great to just be able to have fun with all of the staff that was there and to just relax for a little bit. Today was our first day off since I left Kentucky! Church was great (as always) and then we had a staff beach barbecue this afternoon! I love being here and being a part of Northwest's team! Groups arrive on Tuesday and I am ready to get to work :)

Closing thoughts: This has been a long blog and these are just really general glances into all of my experiences thus far! But I do want to let you know that IT HAS BEEN SOOOOO GOOD TO LOVE ON SOME HAITIANS AGAIN! It has been way too long. And God is kicking my butt here. One of the best things so far has been our group devos with our daily themed scriptures. Everyone has really challenged me here and I am definitely being called to do something greater. Please pray for me and my team and our "heart issues" that we are discovering! Really hitting Philippians 2 hard! But I am proud of the interns because no one has complained once since we've been here and it has been a really long and trying week!

Love you all and please keep praying :)
Britt