Thursday, May 14, 2015


The past few months have been hard for me.

As most of you know, my goal is to be back in Bosnia sometime in the beginning of next year. Since January, I've been working on that goal. I was able to attend an amazing training with the organization that is sending me that prepared me for the taking the next steps in this journey and equipped me for support-raising. Chomping at the bit, I could not wait to get everything set up and start rolling. My eyes were on Bosnia and I didn't think that anything could separate me from getting there as soon as possible. 

Then, it happened...
Three women quit between the two preschools I work at. I knew my workload would increase, but I knew thought that they would be able to find replacements fairly quickly. Well, they did. Unfortunately, none of them lasted more than a week. Many wouldn't even show up for their first day. This went on for a few months. In the meantime, my hours skyrocketed. There were many days where I opened the preschool at 6:30am and wouldn't get off until 8:30pm. That wouldn't be a big deal if that only happened once or twice, but it became a regular part of my week. I was to the point that I would come home, sit on the couch just to talk to my parents about their day for a few minutes, and then go right to bed because I had to get up at 5:20am to do it all over again. Meanwhile, I was being told that it was just temporary if I could just make a little longer. Days became weeks and weeks became months. 

Complacency plagued me. Not that I believed that I was being complacent in my pursuit of getting to Bosnia. I knew that there were small things I could be doing to help further the process even if I couldn't start support-raising and I definitely was not satisfied with my effort. My complacency rested in not looking for God's purpose from the end of January to April. For me, the easiest route was just to play the "poor me" game and act like a victim of terrible work circumstances. It was easier to complain about it than to be joyful through it. My eyes were fixed to focus on the bad, when God was doing so much around me.

In the last few months, God has:
-given me the opportunity to learn work effectively with children
(I've been the lead preschool teacher since September and I'm just now getting things figured out)
-allowed me to truly get to know the families of my preschoolers
-grown me through situations that push me outside of my comfort zone
-allowed me the opportunity to re-establish in my home church after 4 years of college and internships
-allowed me to grown closer to my family 
-provided the funds for me to pay my way for 3 out of 4 trainings from the extra money from all of those extra hours, allowing me to not be too far behind in the process of going back to Bosnia
-given me the opportunity to help lead a precious group of 5th and 6th grade girls
-given me a wonderful group of young women to surround myself with (S/O to my small group)
-taught me patience and trust; I know in my heart God has placed Bosnia on my heart and now I have trust in His timing and let go of mine. 

Those are just a few among the many ways that I've seen God work in my waiting, even if I have just now taken the time to see it and be thankful for it. He is so patient with us. Also, I am in a really good place to start support raising and plan on doing so starting next week. Praise God! This girl needs to get back to the Balkans. :) 

***I would also like to say that I LOVE my job, I LOVE my bosses, and I LOVE my coworkers. We all got through the rough time together and things are finally looking up. God has blessed me with a great place to work.